If there is some kind of therapist or counselor present at conversations that mixed people are having around race, both the practical and esoteric elements of that, I hope that the idea of compassion, especially for oneself, is kept top of mind.
Because just like a number of other groups, we get told that you are not enough, that you’re funny looking, that you don’t belong, things like that.
Things that lots of people are able to relate to.
For people who have internalized those messages, until you have compassion for yourself first, it’s hard to have compassion for other people.
So for example, in Living InCognegro, I talk about somebody that I came across who was also living incognegro and I was excited to speak with her. Her look, her energy was just pushing me away so hard.
As I say in the show, everything she was talking about was just “hashtag blackth*glife”talking about how she can out black anybody when nobody seemed to be challenging her.
The fact of my existence seemed really threatening. Like I could give her away, I don’t know. Here’s where I’m making assumptions. The energy and the looks that I got from her, even though we were basically the same skin tone.
I won. And it made me think.
I don’t think she has a lot of compassion for herself.
That’s part one, to check in.
Somebody who’s a therapist or counselor is going to be better able to find the language for helping somebody check in and identify where a person is on their individual compassion scale, right?
So that we feel like we can safely open up to each other and not be judged. Especially if there’s just like a micro difference in melanin levels.
Silly.
I’m Gin Hammond and I’m Living IncogNegro.
I’m glad you’re here and we’re on this journey together.
Learn more at LivingIncogNegro.com
